Abyss

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====== Lucy ======

(Namespace: [[headmates:start]])

<tabbox Current>
{{headmates:lucy.png}}
<tabbox Early syscovery (but still after last split)>
{{headmates:lucy-pre-redshift.png}}

At this time, Lucy had split [[Oliver]] and [[Penelope/Anabelle]] out of her, but had not yet rediscovered her connection to them.
<tabbox Before last split>
{{headmates:lucy-alpha.png}}
</tabbox>

| ^ Current ^ Before last split |
^ Pronouns | she/her ||
^ Subjective age(s) | 28 | 9 |
^ Name origin | Lucifer ||
^ Color | <color #f4560c>**red-orange** (#f4560c)</color> | <color #dd2e70>**rose-red** (#dd2e70)</color> |
^ Sign | spades ||
^ Animal | hellhound, red fox | demon |

I'm not sure exactly when Lucy formed, but I think it may have been when I started learning taekwondo to try to stand up to bullies. I was reintroduced to her when she broke out of [[Singer]]. Sometime after that, she broke [[Oliver]] and [[Penelope/Anabelle]] out of herself, leaving only her current form.

When she contained Oliver and Penelope/Anabelle, she seemed younger, and in extreme distress. She told me she was "the girl who could survive anything" and that I was an abusive host to her. She was obviously very strong, but also very afraid, even if she didn't want to admit it.

When she split, what was left of her aged drastically and also mostly stopped being afraid. She became a mentor and protector to our entire system. She cares for me, but still tells me when I'm being a dumbass. I imagine that when someone falls into [[headspace:Abyss]], Lucy swoops up out of the pits of hell on her cool demon wings and rescues them from oblivion.

Lucy---the current one---seems to think she is the same person as [[Singer]] and also as [[Mom]]. Lucy seems to think she is the internalized memory of our mother's love. But the //original// Lucy, at least, definitely felt like a self, not an introject, and //Singer// definitely //is// a self, no question about it whatsoever. So... I'm not sure what to think of this.

Lucy used to have an intimate relationship with [[Daisy/May|Daisy]]. It was uncomfortable for both of them. Nonetheless, I think they both still feel vestiges of it.